I opened the freezer the other day, and found two boxes of "Banquet" brand TV dinners staring back at me. They were both the "chicken fingers meal" complete with three chicken logs, mac and cheese, and a fudge brownie nestled together in a black, plastic tray. Why were these bargain meals in my house? How did they get in here? Did the wife pick them up by mistake?
I read the ingredients. It's about what you'd expect:
spice, soy protein isolate, sodium tripolyphosphate, BHT, maltodextrin (corn), yellow #5, yellow #6, sodium phosphate dihydrate, acetic acid esters of mono- and diglycerides, ethyl alcohol, corn syrup, and polysorbate 80 (so yummy)
Who could make something this bad look so good on the package? It was Monsanto's buddy, food giant,
ConAgra. You don't want all off that GMO corn and soy to go to waste, do you?
Apparently, my wife's grandparents brought the frozen meals for the twins. Thanks, but bring toys, not food. I opened the package and noticied the fudge batter moving around. It wasn't frozen. It must have been the ethyl alcohol, or maybe something more sinister.
After 20 minutes in the oven, the microwavable plastic container remained rigid. The unfreezable, pudding like substance, blossomed into a lopsided, blob. My wife was brave enough to try it. She said it had a strange texture.... "very pasty". The mac and cheese, actually looked like mac and cheese. Again, she tried it. She couldn't tell what she was eating.... "no taste at all". All that remained, were the greasy fingers. They were spongy to the touch. I slit the "finger" from top to bottom revealing a web of gray meat completely separated from the breading.
I had seen enough. "Not fit for human consumption", I thought. But, my dog looked hungry, and he has eaten things far worse. I gave him one finger as a tester, and so far, he's kept it down. Keep him in your thoughts.
.........................Matt